It’s October 30, 2013. I am enjoying a much needed day off from work, sipping coffee and watching beautiful leaves fall like snow out my front window.
Christmas banners and other garb are up, ready to usher in the hustle and bustle of yet another holiday season. Holiday décor is already lining shelves in most stores. The leaves haven’t even finished their fall and Starbucks is in full swing of pumpkin spice lattes and yummy caramel apple spice offerings. How sad to watch commercialism at its best, or worst.
I am thankful for a day to pause and reflect on the year that is nearly over. It has been full of struggle, growth, more struggle, challenge and still more struggle. I have often wrestled at the reason for it all. Feelings of confusion, loneliness, invisibility and even suffering have been ever reoccurring. Do you see me Lord? Are you moving? Why are you making me wait?
The battle between heart and mind rages. I seek for truth but only hear the voices of this world screaming loudly. Then one day, as fog lifts and the still small voice utters precious words of life and love and hope. His peace rules more profoundly than the feelings of confusion, loneliness and invisibility. Suffering is part of this life. It knows no limits and has no measure for depth or intensity.
I am reminded there is always a reason for the wait. The struggle is what produces character and trust. It’s the glue that makes this life a testament to who He is and his unceasing display of Glory. He is still on His throne despite and in spite of me.
Waiting is never easy. It’s often tedious, produces tidal waves of impatience and restlessness, and is relentless in its pursuit. Yet in all my years of walking with Jesus and the struggle that comes with it, it’s the waiting that produces the greatest blessing and joy. It’s where I find Him and where I am found.
The lies that say I am alone, I am invisible, I am insignificant and feelings of confusion are put in their place simply because of Christ. He proves over and He is greater.
This year certainly has gone fast and I shudder to think 2014 will be here in the next blink of an eye. Even though commercialism won’t let me, I intend to enjoy my favorite of the seasons. Today is a good day to stop, enjoy the fall foliage and its beauty, drink a caramel apple spice and consider all the Lord has done. If I have to struggle so that He may increase, so be it. He makes all things new.